A Simple Way to Make Him Approach You

Lesson 26

Eye contact is the single most effective way for encouraging a man to approach you. It’s not as passive of a tactic as smiling, which means that as a woman, you take on a bit more risk when applying it. That being said, the benefit of making eye contact with a man is that it is a clear and direct indication that a woman is, in the least, curious about him and, depending on the nature of the eye contact, wants him to do something about her curiosity.

If you make eye contact with a guy, it first states that you like what you see. If you make eye contact with a guy and linger, even if just for a moment, it states that you like what you see and you’d like for him to come over. The former (a more modest tactic) inspires a man’s curiosity in you while the latter inspires both his curiosity and boosts his confidence in approaching you.

More confident men won’t need a lingering look, while less confident men might require one. My personal opinion is that the use of the lingering look should be situational. For example, unless you’re interested in attracting the attention of men who only want to hook up with you, I would suggest refraining from over-using the lingering look in places where such men actively hunt (i.e., bars and clubs).

On the other hand, if there’s an acquaintance that you’ve had your eye on for a while now and the chemistry between you both is a sure thing, a lingering look might be just what he needs to finally ask you out or make a move on you. So, as you can see, depending on the kind of attention you want to attract, the level of your flirtatious eye contact should vary based on the place and situation.

Whether or not you linger with your look, you want to ensure that you smile at some point during your eye contact so that the interaction seems intentional on some level. Sure, you can illustrate your interest demurely by quickly looking away when he glances in your direction, but failing to smile invitingly before doing so will only waste the opportunity. If you use the demure, coy-like approach by shifting your eyes downward or away from him right after he looks at you, you must ensure that you smile with him first before glancing off in another direction.

If you really want to flood a man’s brain with attraction signals and make it impossible for him not to approach you, when you make eye contact with him, smile at him and lightly touch yourself right before looking away. When a woman lightly touches herself as she makes eye contact with a man, it sends a clear signal of romantic desire. As a man, there’s just something irresistibly sexy about a woman who glances at you, smiles, and tucks her curls behind her ear right before averting her glance. Flirty self-touches like that one will stop a man in his tracks and force him to think of an excuse to stride on over and talk to you.

Of course, for some of you, when I say “touch yourself” to get his attention, you might be worried that I’m suggesting something overly sexual. Don’t worry, I’m not, and no guy is going to get the wrong idea about you if you “tuck your hair behind an ear” or do something similar. Clearly, when I say “touch yourself” I’m not talking about anything even remotely sexual. I’m referring to those subtle hand movements and bodily contact that makes a woman appear soft, feminine, delicate, and deeply intrigued by the man she’s exchanging glances with. There are a variety of “self-touching” that can hogtie a man’s attention, but the most flirtatious ones that come to mind are: Touching your shoulder (like the woman in the picture above), grazing your neck/collar bone, tucking your hair behind your ears (yes!), placing your hand on your cheek (works great if you’re sitting), etc. (By the way, most of these self-touches are designed to get you to expose your neck to him in some way, which is the kind of submissive, feminine body language that triggers something both primal and protective in men.)

Now, you may be wondering how much eye contact is necessary for a man to get the message. It will depend on the guy in question, but I suggest that your eye contact with any one guy should add up to anywhere between five to ten seconds depending on the situation. Now, when I say five to ten seconds, what I mean is that the amount of time you spend in total trading eye contact with any one man in any given setting should add up to this amount. You can shoot him a quick one-second flirty glance or even hold an attentive three-second look. But you want to use your glances at various intervals rather than get into a five to ten second staring contest. Don’t get into a staring contest…that’s just creepy. Any guy who makes eye contact with you for five to ten seconds collectively and doesn’t initiate contact with you is not worth knowing.

I don’t encourage women to waste their time on man-boys who don’t have the guts to take a hint and take action to get what they want. Remember, you want to attract men who both know what they want and who go after what they want. So don’t waste your captivating gazes on wussies.