The #1 Key to Conquering His Heart

Lesson 5

Before a man can open his heart and fall in love with you, he NEEDS to feel as if you respect him. Because of this, it goes without saying that the fastest way to turn a man off and drive him away is to show him disrespect through your words and behavior.

This is something many women have difficulty comprehending because being respected means something different to a woman than it does to a man. And while I understand that women need respect as well, various studies in gender-dynamics continue to indicate that men have a much greater desire to be respected by their significant others.

Now, there are a lot of behaviors that may fall into the “disrespectful” category in a man’s eyes. But here are a few of them:

• Asking for his advice then not following through on it.
• Badmouthing or making jokes about him in front of others (whether he’s around or not).
• Being indifferent towards his dreams, aspirations, or achievements.
• Cutting him off mid-sentence to say what’s on your mind.
• Constantly second guessing his decisions.
• Using snide remarks to end arguments with him.
• Accepting/using gifts bought for you by other men/past lovers.
• Spying on him.
• Not being supportive of his career or business.
• Resisting his attempts to protect or provide for you.
• Displaying body language that conveys disgust and/or contempt.
• Leaving the room or turning your back to him when he’s speaking.
• Flirting with other men (whether he’s around or not).
• Trying to change him.
• Scolding, unjustly criticizing, or verbally attacking him.
• Making unreasonable demands of his resources.
• Getting other men to do jobs or favors for you that should only be reserved for him.
• Lying to him.
• Caring little about your appearance. (Important Note: A man’s woman is a reflection of his “glory.” Caring little about your appearance, whether you’re with him or not, makes HIM look bad and will cause him to become the ridicule of other men. No man, especially a high-quality man, wants to become the ridicule of other men.)

This list can go on, I assure you. But I don’t want to bog you down with too much specifics. What you should do is look at the list and replay your past interactions with men with the new awareness of whether or not your words and behaviors communicated respect (and thus…love) to a man.

For example, if you’ve ever had a boyfriend shut down on you emotionally in the middle of a conversation, you may have communicated disrespectfully with him. If you’ve been on a date with a guy and you noticed that his attitude suddenly changed for the worse after you made a seemingly harmless, passing remark, you may have disrespected him in some form or fashion.

Being consistently disrespected over time can cool a man’s passion for you and cause him to pull away. And depending on the level of disrespect you showed him, he may even pull away for good. This is because men need respect the way women need love. And we’ll pull the moon out of the night sky for the woman who knows how to communicate her needs, cultivate intimacy, and express her boundaries without trying to manipulate us or destroying our egos in the process.

This is an aspect about the male psyche that many women have trouble grasping because they tend to believe that showing a man respect means that they have to coddle him and pussyfoot around his emotions just to keep him happy.

Don’t be misled by thinking this way.

Yes, it is a challenge, but men are challenged to show a woman unconditional love and tenderness within their relationships. Your challenge is to demonstrate unconditional respect, meaning that it’s important to show the man you love respect even when he does not deserve it. If you want to be with a man who shows you love even during those moments when you KNOW you don’t deserve it, be the kind of woman who can offer a man the gift of her respect even during those difficult moments when he may be undeserving of it.