Why Doing Less Makes Him Eager to Be With You

Lesson 13

Listen, I get it. To get ahead on your job, in school, or even in your business you’ve probably had to take the initiative in everything in order to get your needs met and achieve your goals. Adopting this particular approach to getting your needs met in these arenas has brought you a healthy amount of success, and thus, it’s easy to assume that “taking the initiative” and being highly assertive in your love life should surely yield the same results. Unfortunately, this assumption couldn’t be further from the truth when it comes to cultivating long-term attraction with men, especially highly masculine, relationship-minded men.

If you take the initiative in the beginning dating stages, you run the risk of turning men off instantly. Men want to be the pursuers and are romantically wired to do so. Any initiatives you take to “spark things up” or move the courtship forward is a lost opportunity for the man you’re dating.

Yes, a high-quality man will consider himself a “prize-catch” to a phenomenal woman, but he doesn’t want to be treated as such until he’s done the initial legwork to assess your value and secure your affection. Only after some sort of consistent relationship has been established will a man truly appreciate your efforts to “win” his heart. Read that paragraph again.

Even if you think he’s not moving “fast enough”, do not take the initiative to move things forward or to see what his intentions are concerning you. As I mentioned before, although this sort of behaviour will get you ahead in your career and business, it will destroy your chances with men. If a man wants to be with you he will make his presence in your life both consistent and dominant. You won’t have to chase him, check up on him, or call him to get closure. You’ll know based on his enthusiasm, attentiveness, and the amount of effort he takes to wedge himself into your life.

A man will always value that which he has worked to attain, especially when it comes to the woman he’s dating. If he has to “win” her over, he will have satisfied his masculine need for a great romantic conquest. By feeling as if he’s “won” her over he will also have greater confidence in the relationship, due to him knowing that the relationship itself was HIS idea.

When you make the man a “prize” that needs to be pursued, you run the risk of making him feel like less of a man. To him at least, it will feel as if you’re trying to coerce him into a relationship. And when he feels as if he’s being “sweetly” pressured into a commitment, your value as a long-term partner immediately drops in his eyes. This is one of the most common reasons why men pull away and suddenly disappear in the beginning stages of a blossoming romance.

Remember, before a man can commit to you he needs to feel a strong emotional attraction to you. And you can only cultivate this attraction by granting him the gift of chasing you. Keeping this firmly in mind will prevent you from taking on the dominant role (which is his role) in the beginning of a courtship, as only the woman who knows that she IS the “prize” can maintain this frame of attitude when interacting with a man.