Show Him You Have Eyes Only for Him

Lesson 11

Jonathan and Stacey have been casually dating for about a month and they both seem to be very interested in their new and blossoming relationship. Jonathan is what you might call an eligible bachelor and the “perfect gentleman.”

His mother is a particularly pretty woman, one who attracts male attention naturally. Over the years Jonathan has watched her refuse, ignore, and outright reject other men (even men of greater success and social status than his father) without even thinking about it. This, along with his happy childhood has made him deeply respectful of his parents’ relationship, as he knows that a strong, loving marriage helps to raise respectful, well-adjusted children.

Jonathan is at a stage in his life where he’s looking for “The One” woman he can commit to for a lifetime. He wants someone honest, kind, warm, supportive, and as loyal as his mother. He wants to be with a woman he can completely trust in and depend on, a woman who will have eyes for him and him alone.

Stacey is what you might call an exceptional beauty and can be somewhat of a flirt. She possesses an incredible charm and she has a natural way with people. She makes friends easily and people are quickly drawn to her. She has lots of friends and acquaintances, many of them men… who are stuck in her “friend-zone.” Because of her natural assets, she’s never had any problems attracting men and relationships, but just like any other woman, keeping the men she really wanted has been quite the challenge. Unsurprisingly, the male attention she constantly receives (and often encourages) has cost her various relationships in the past. And only recently has Stacey “toned it down” so that she doesn’t end up driving away another interested suitor.

You’ve probably realized by now that Stacey’s natural charm and enjoyment of male attention will pose a stumbling block to her blossoming relationship with Jonathan. Because of Jonathan’s relationship wants and needs, he will be tuned in to any female behaviour that either reinforces or weakens his long-term desire for Stacey. Of course, nothing Stacey does will ever make her the “perfect” woman, but her interactions with Jonathan will eventually allow him to ascertain if she’s at least “perfect” for him.

Now, you’re probably thinking that Stacey’s chances with Jonathan are pretty much screwed. You wouldn’t be far from the truth in an average scenario, but because Stacey has decided to “tone it down” regarding her personal magnetism and enthusiasm for male attention, she might actually have a chance at enduring happiness. So since she’s made a conscious decision to change her behaviour, Stacey interacts with Jonathan in a way that makes him feel exceptional, desirable, and highly esteemed by her. Even though she used to encourage male attention in the past, she actively discourages it, especially when she’s with Jonathan.

For example, at social gatherings, when Jonathan leaves momentarily to get drinks, she politely rejects other men when they try to engage her in conversation. If she and Jonathan are together and an old flame sees her and attempts to get her attention, she does not allow the ex to linger past a courteous introduction and farewell. When she’s with Jonathan and men pay her passing compliments, if they’re appropriate she simply says “thank you.” If they’re not appropriate or respectful of Jonathan, she ignores them entirely, grasps Jonathan’s arm tighter, and momentarily leans her head against his shoulder.

Even if other highly attractive men stare at her or try to make eye contact with her, she ignores them as if they simply do not exist in her world. She also ignores the “friend-zoned” men in her life when they try to buy her gifts, perform favours, or ask her out. In short, because she respects Jonathan and values their blossoming romance, she does not encourage the attention of other men nor does she incite their interest in her.

High-quality men like Jonathan, when they’re auditioning women for a life of love and commitment, will quietly observe you to assess your capacity for loyalty. When a woman makes it clear that she has eyes for us and us alone, especially when other more successful, physically fit, charming, or higher-status men are around, it increases our confidence in her and makes us less likely to pull away.

If a guy is testing your loyalty, constantly entertaining other men won’t keep him interested unless he enjoys dating women who “play” hard-to-get. In general, men don’t like women who play “hard-to-get” per se. When we’re searching for a long-term mate, what we really desire is the unconditional love and loyalty of a woman who IS “hard-to-get” (or better yet, “impossible-to-get”) for other men. Remember that.