He Says He Loves Me But He Does Not Call

Lesson 4

When it comes to talking on the phone or texting, a man’s communication habits – his responsiveness, eagerness, and frequency of contact, etc., – is entirely based on the guy. The reality is that some guys just aren’t “phone” people, whether it means texting or otherwise. It doesn’t matter if you’re his dream-girl or not, if he’s not a huge phone person, trying to force him to use it more often will be an uphill battle.

Of course, if he’s big on texting in particular but doesn’t want to talk to you on the phone like an adult, then that IS a problem.

But just to be clear, let’s assume that a man isn’t really a “phone” person on the whole. He may love spending time with you and even loves talking to you on the phone once he’s there, but he’s just not a telephone person in general.

If he’s not really a phone person in general, that’s fine. You can tell if he is a “phone person” based on how responsive he is to his phone when he’s with you. Does he check his texts every few minutes or as soon as he gets one? Does he take calls while spending time with you? If not, he’s just not that into keeping in touch by phone in general.

The good thing about a guy like this is that he might be really big on QUALITY time. So while he isn’t always quick to get in touch with you several times per day, when he is with you he doesn’t want it to end.

Still, only YOU can really tell if his seemingly inconsistent communication is a sign that he’s just not that into you. In a situation like this, if asking him or flirtatiously enticing him to contact you more hasn’t work, nagging or begging him to do so certainly won’t work either. If your words, whether firm or flirtatious, have failed, then it might be time to utilize your more passive skills of seduction.

Remember, men often respond faster to changes in your behavior than they do your words. You can actually influence a man’s behavior simply by altering your own. If your guy won’t respond to reason or your pleading, then he’ll have to respond to your lack-of-responsiveness.

When a man believes that he can contact and make plans with you whenever he so pleases, you’ve probably trained him to do so. If you’re not happy with this sort of arrangement, simply change your response by doing two things:

1. Make yourself less available to him, and…
2. Let him dominate the initiation of contact.

These are the only two things you can do to silently encourage him to step-up his communication attempts with you. Why? It’s because as a woman, your seduction strategy must remain passive if you want to communicate high-value and inspire the man you want to pursue you thoughtfully. You must let a man do as he pleases regarding the actions he takes to win and keep you, but always be ready to graciously rebuff any behavior that makes you feel unwanted or disrespected.

So if he calls or texts you when he feels like it, then that’s his right. However, it’s YOUR right to deny him your company if he fails to respond or get in touch with you in a reasonable amount of time. If he really wants to be with you, the change in your behavior will put him into “problem-solving” mode, thus increasing the chances of him changing his behavior to win back your attention.

Now, if you consider implementing the strategy above I hope you’ve counted the cost. If this really isn’t something to lose a potentially great guy over, then it might be best to simply enjoy him for who he is assuming he’s really that into you. But if his communication attempts leave you feeling undesired and it seems as if he’s taking you for granted, then the strategy I’ve suggested might be worth the attempt.

Remember, changing your behavior will either initiate a fight or flight response from him. If his behavior bothers you to the point where you don’t mind the risk of him taking “flight” and ending the courtship, then go for it. If you come to realize that he’s just not a phone person, but he’ll still lasso the moon out of the night sky just to make you happy, then accepting him as he is might be the better option.

Know your needs, accept your limits, and always be honest with yourself. And remember, don’t let a man’s behavior throw you for a loop because of a lack of knowledge.