He Says He’s Serious About Me But How do I Know for Sure?

Lesson 9

If you want to figure out if a man is genuinely interested in you or not, the first thing you have to do is LISTEN to him and allow him to reveal exactly who he is. Simply pay close attention to what he says and really listen to him when he talks about himself and what he wants in a relationship (assuming he wants one at all).

If he tells you he’s not looking for anything serious…believe him. If he tells you most of his relationships seem to fizzle out after four months of dating…believe him. When he tells you he has “commitment issues” and can’t seem to find the right woman…believe him. These confessions are not invitations for you to try and change him. They are the confessions of a man who wants to keep you interested but also single.

Secondly, share your vulnerable side with him and see how he responds. You don’t have to confess your deepest darkest secrets to him, but share private little intimacies with him that you wouldn’t share with the average person. Such things can include but aren’t limited to:

• Cherished childhood memories.
• Painful memories from your past; such as a friend’s betrayal.
• Present-day struggles; such as your fear of switching careers or the issues you’re having with a co-worker.
• Quirky interests that you’re passionate about.
• Things that make you deeply emotional in any way; such as mistreated pets, domestic violence, your church’s ministry, or even your sister’s journey through rehab.

If you open up about such things and the guy you’re dating doesn’t appear even remotely interested or affected…he’s not really that into you as a person. Getting emotional with him will either frighten him away (Mr. Wrong) or draw him closer to you (Mr. Right), so you cannot lose with this strategy.

When you become vulnerable with a guy, allowing him to catch a glimpse of your soul, if he’s Mr. Right he’ll become even more curious and infatuated with you. When you share your soul with him, the right guy will see you as a “kindred soul” so to speak, and will feel even more emotionally drawn to you in the process.

Lastly, one of the best ways to reveal a man’s true intentions is to pay close attention to the way he treats you over time. A man can, and will say anything to get what he wants from the fairer sex. Therefore, you cannot rely on his words alone. Charm can be deceitful and is often used by men to draw attention away from their character flaws and predatory dating behavior.

If a man wants you, he will make his presence in your life consistent and dominant. Yes, sometimes men pull away and suddenly lose interest for various reasons, but his overall actions toward you should create emotional comfort as opposed to just sexual chemistry alone.

It’s not just about the butterflies and tingling sensations he makes you feel on the inside, but what his actions reveal about his CHARACTER and the consistency of his COMMITMENT.

So whenever you find yourself in doubt, ask yourself questions like these:

• Does his actions always make me feel anxious? Or do they bring me a quiet comfort?
• Does his actions make me feel dignified, cherished, and respected? Or do they make me feel replaceable and unimportant?
• Do I love our romantic/sexual chemistry but hate the emotional drama? Or am I enjoying both our romantic/sexual chemistry and the peace he makes me feel?
• Is he responsive to my acts of love and loyalty? Or is he indifferent or contemptuous of them?
• Is he compassionate and thoughtful of my limitations and relationship needs? Or is he indifferent or inconsiderate of them?

As you answer these questions, ignore the attraction you feel for the guy and trust your female intuition. Assuming your personality isn’t extremely neurotic by default, the fear and insecurity you feel about him could be your woman’s intuition trying to warn you.