Make Him BEG to See You Again

Lesson 17

If there’s one thing that can drive a man crazy and make him BEG to see you again it’s your ability to illustrate your cheerful independence and selective desire at the same time. In the beginning stages of a new romance, when the mystery is high and a man’s interest is keen, nothing floods his brain with thoughts of being with you faster than a display of your independence and desire for him.

What trips many women up is the apparent paradox of communicating their desirableness (high-value/hard-to-get) while also expressing their own sincere desire for a man. In theory, it sounds confusing, but in practice it’s actually quite simple to do.

The key to doing this successfully is to always be on the lookout for opportunities to subtly hint that:

1. You are a high-value woman because you have a fun, vibrant life of your own, and…

2. You are thinking about him and wish he were enjoying life with you.

I should specify that your subtle hints should convey that you wish he were with you, and not the other way around. You see, telling a man “I wish you were here with me” has a very different emotional effect than saying “I wish I was there with you”. The former implies that your life is already fun but would be even more delicious with his presence. The latter subconsciously hints that you don’t have anything better to do than pine for his company and hope he invites you along in the future. The former statement communicates your high-value and selective desire, while the latter hints that your happiness is at his mercy.

Remember, words have deeper implied meanings, whether we’d like to admit it or not. So choose your words carefully, because they can increase your status in a man’s eyes just as easily as they can lower your status, and thus, your importance to a man.

But how does a girl communicate her high-value and selective desire in a practical, everyday way? Well, here’s an example to get you started:

Let’s say your new Mr. McDreamy calls you while you’re already out with the girls, having a great time. I suggest you don’t answer him if you’re in the thick of the fun and simply wait until your spectacular night is over before getting back to him. When you do get the opportunity (either after settling in for the night or waiting for the following morning) call or text him with something like this:

• “Hey Eric, sorry I missed your call. I was out with the girls. Had a fun night of dancing. I would have had even more fun if you were there to dance with me. 😉 ”

Now, if you really can’t resist picking up the phone when he calls (shame on you), simply give him a variation of the response above. Something like this:

• You: “Hey Eric, sorry I can’t talk right now. I’m out dancing with my friends.”
  
• Eric: “Wow, that’s cool. Where are you guys?”
• You: “We’re at _______. This place is sooo much fun on Friday’s! Might have been even more fun if you were here to dance with me.”

(Take special note of the words used to communicate with Eric. Words like “fun” and “with me” will pique his desire and make him really wish he was or had been there with you.)

In these situations, you’re communicating to Eric that you have a fun life (happiness), that you enjoy time with your friends (social proof), and that you were thinking about him specifically and want to see more of him (selective desire). Responding like this creates both anxiety and eagerness in Eric’s mind. This is a GOOD thing, especially in the beginning of a new romance.

The anxiety Eric feels has to do with his own imagination, as he’ll secretly conjure up thoughts about the guys that might be hitting on you, the guys you might be dancing with, and the guys who might steal your heart before he has a chance to do so himself. If he’s particularly masculine, this anxiety of male competition will spike his testosterone (thus increasing his desire to compete for a high-value female) and make him all the more eager to wedge himself into your life as swiftly as possible.

(By the way, I’m REALLY giving you an inside look into the male psyche when it comes to what arouses us to pursue a woman. So read and RE-READ that last paragraph until the secrets within sink in.)

Let’s do another example.

Let’s say your new love interest texts you to see what you have planned for the evening. If you’re not out on the town yet but you do have plans to go out with your friends, perhaps a text like this might work:

• “I’m going out with my friends tonight like we’d planned a while back. Really wished you could come with and have some fun with me, but…it’s our ‘girls night.’ 😉 Maybe next weekend?”

If you’re feeling particularly flirty, you can send a tempting little follow up:

• “By the way, here’s what I’m wearing tonight. What do you think?”

Then attach a classy selfie of you in a gorgeous little black dress.

Any red-blooded man who receives a playful, inviting, and high-value text like that will message you back immediately with concrete plans to see you the following weekend (or perhaps even the following day if possible). And I’m sure I don’t have to tell you just how much he’ll be thinking about you the entire time you’re out with your friends.

Being cheerfully independent of him while subtly expressing your desire for him in a teasing way WILL give him “butterflies” and make him feel as if he’s in high school again. If he has a sincere interest in you, this sort of playfulness will ramp up the sexual tension (attraction) in the blossoming relationship and make him think of all sorts of creative ways to spend more time with you.

So memorize this equation and write it someplace where you can be reminded of it daily as you interact with men:

Cheerful Independence (I don’t need you to have fun, be happy, and get my needs met) + Selective Desire (But I want you more than any other man I could have because I think you’re better than them) = Deep Attraction in Men.

Remember that.