Lesson 27
Never hide the fact that you want to be in a committed relationship. Doing so is a terrible strategy for keeping a man interested in you. Many women neglect to tell men what they want in a relationship usually out of fear. The fear of scaring a potentially great guy away causes them to keep quiet about their truest relationship desires, which ultimately leads them into dead-end relationships or dead-on-arrival romances with time-wasting men.
When a new guy asks you about your relationship desires and aspirations…tell him. Don’t pretend as if you have none in an attempt to make him feel unpressured. Telling him what you want in a relationship has nothing to do with him. It’s about your desires and your standards. So, don’t worry about “pressuring him”. You should feel free to express exactly what kind of relationship you’d like to experience with your ideal man…whether that ideal man is him or not.
If you reveal your relationship desires with class and sincerity, most men aren’t going to run for the nearest exit or go radio silent on you after you’ve expressed yourself. The key to communicating your wants with confidence is to ensure that you speak with that warm, feminine, heartfelt sincerity that men love and adore. Don’t hem and haw or hesitate to share your desires. Just be true to your feelings and express yourself with the utmost womanly poise.
For example, it is totally reasonable for a woman to respond to a man’s curiosities with something like, “I’m interested in a relationship that progresses toward a commitment when the time is right.” This is a simple, laid-back response that is especially useful for women who are deathly afraid of telling men what they want. Of course, if you also want to express your desire for marriage in the future without coming off as being overly eager about it, you could try this simple variation: “I’m interested in a relationship that progresses toward a commitment when the time is right. And at some point in the future, possibly marriage.”
Of course, if you’re a bit more confident (and particularly sassy) when communicating with men, you might want to say or text something like: “I want a relationship with a man who will eventually commit to me because he wants me all to himself.” (Remember to toss in a flirty wink at the end of that sentence if you’re texting it.) Most red-blooded men will LOVE this response simply because it communicates your wants clearly while playfully insinuating that when a man does commit to you it will be because he can’t get enough of you. Men love it when a woman expresses herself in ways that cultivates both their respect AND their desire for her at the same time.