Why Men Lie About or Don’t Explain Their Loss of Interest

Lesson 24

For the guy who’s pulling away from you, assuming he has a high level of class, actually cares about you, and wants to let you down easy, one thing I can admit is that the less petty, superficial, niggling, “sexist”, or embarrassing a deal breaker or turn off is for him, the more likely he is to inform you about it, especially if you ask him for an explanation. If it’s something huge like you living six hours away from him, your religious differences, or even him being relocated because of his career, men usually don’t have any qualms discussing such things because these sorts of deal breakers are reasonable, and in some cases, can be worked around if both parties are willing.

If the deal breaker or turn off is something a bit more personal or seemingly superficial however, you probably won’t get an explanation for his loss of interest and eventual ghosting.

For example, a guy might not tell you that your snorting laughter drove him nuts. While he might tell his friends, don’t count on him telling you because it might make him sound shallow. A guy isn’t going to tell you that although the chemistry was crazy on your first date, when you both met up for a second date your breath made his eyes water (because of the extra spicy, garlic-infused chips you were snacking on all day). Most men aren’t going to tell you that even though they endured the first date out of courtesy, they lost interest after realizing you looked a lot less flattering in person when compared to the picture on your online dating profile. Most men aren’t going to tell you that they thought you were fun and irresistible until you showed them your insane taxidermy collection. Most men aren’t going to tell you that they were “in love” with you until you accidentally forgot to flush the toilet when you came by for a dinner date. And most men aren’t going to tell you that you were absolutely “The One” right up until you told him that your favorite pastimes were “sleeping and eating.”

Now, please don’t hate the messenger. I’m just telling you what men sometimes talk about among themselves after they stop seeing a woman. In cases where something seemingly superficial turns a man off of you, consider yourself fortunate if he loses interest earlier than later. Because so long as this superficial quality isn’t commonly considered a red flag by the majority of the male population, you’ll eventually find at least one man who LOVES your particular brand of quirkiness and who’s so attracted to you that your mistakes won’t even register.

Believe me, men can be superficial and shallow, but when a man is looking for something a bit more serious, he wants to ensure that the things he finds annoying about his woman are things he can live with. So long as a man isn’t being unreasonable, this is a smart way to go about selecting a long-term mate to be with.

Remember, before a man really knows you his romantic obsessions with you are primarily based on sexual attraction. This sexual attraction creates a powerful, hormone-infused “love fog” that will keep him somewhat blinded to who you really are for the moment. Because of this, it will take him a while before he can effectively assess your true long-term relationship compatibility with him. A lot of guys are not aware of this however, and thus they tend to make premature assumptions and declarations regarding their capacity and ability to commit to you. This is why a man can passionately pursue you in the early dating stages and suddenly (or slowly) pull away once he gets to know the real you and realizes that you’re not his kind of relationship material.

Therefore, if you keep in mind that men are more prone to errors in judgment regarding their true level of interest and commitment to a woman during the early dating stages, you’re less likely to fall for a man’s premature pledges of love and loyalty.