Win Him Over Quickly with Your Honesty

Lesson 14

When it comes to first impressions, the more warm, cordial, and friendly you are to a man, the more likely he is to see you as long-term relationship material. Within those first few dates, when a man is looking for a potential girlfriend he will be very observant of a woman’s behaviour to find out just how congenial and easy-going her personality truly is. However, although your initial success with men is highly dependent on your amicability, you should never feign agreeableness towards things that you genuinely don’t agree with, like, or support.

Being overly agreeable with him about everything won’t make you seem like a dream-girl. Instead, to him, it will make you seem like a doormat…a doormat that ANY man, not just him, can walk on and use. No man, especially a high-quality man, wants a committed relationship with a doormat that any man can walk on and use.

If you’re especially prone to being overly nice (especially towards men you consider “out-of-your-league”), in your mind you might think that not speaking up about certain things or not disagreeing with him will make him like you even more. You might even think that concealing your opinions or ignoring your feelings about something will make him want to see more of you.

Don’t be misled.

Being too acquiescent with men conceals your authenticity, which thus makes it near impossible for us to experience and fall in love with the real you. This is why you should not alter your likes, dislikes, preferences, tastes, and standards just to keep a man interested in you. Maintain the self-belief that your ideal Mr. Right won’t disappear the moment you disapprove of something he does or disagree with him about something. The man who wants an equal partner will value your honesty, even if that honesty makes him feel momentary discomfort or unease.

Seriously, think about it for a moment.

If you’re casually dating a guy who isn’t emotionally mature enough to simply “agree to disagree” with you, how much success do you think you’ll have in a relationship with him? Concealing your authenticity might make him believe you’re a good match for him, but once a serious relationship develops he’ll soon become disenchanted when he gets a taste of the real you. Hence, being gracefully honest with your likes and dislikes earlier on is a great way to weed out incompatible men as well as guys who are only looking for an easy-ride at your expense.

Like every other lesson in these newsletters, this piece of advice is all about finding a healthy middle ground between maintaining your standards while trying to cultivate emotional closeness with a man. You don’t have to go towards the other extreme and become an ice-cold harpy if a man does or says something you don’t approve of. And you don’t have to become hyper antagonistic if you don’t share his views on a particular topic.

Failing to communicate with a man in a respectful way is one of the fastest ways to lose his interest and make him emotionally unresponsive to you. Graciousness, poise, and refinement of speech will make it far easier for the right man to relate with you even if he doesn’t agree with you. So remember to always keep it classy when you disagree with him or feel compelled to express your disapproval.